I Saw Beauty and the Beast

Last night, I saw Beauty and the Beast. In it, Hermione Granger (Emma Watson in Harry Potter) takes the place of her father, Artemus Gordon (Kevin Kline in Wild Wild West), who was taken prisoner by a monstrous Matthew Crawley (Dan Stevens on Downton Abbey). Encouraged by Matthew's cursed servants, the gruff Gandalf (Ian McKellen in The Lord of the Rings), the French-accented Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor in Star Wars), the neurotic Caesar Flickerman (Stanley Tucci in The Hunger Games), the motherly Mrs. Lovett, the opera-singing Beggar Woman (Emma Thompson and Audra McDonald in Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street), and the feathery Belle (Gugu Mbatha-Raw in Belle), Hermione and Matthew grow close to one another. Meanwhile, ex-soldier Bard the Bowman (Luke Evans in The Hobbit) seeks Hermione as his wife with help from Olaf (Josh Gad in Frozen). Sounds awesome, huh? It is. In fact, it's superior to the one from 1991 starring Paige O'Hara and Robby Benson.

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